So much going on.
Reception of the new album has been warm and encouraging. Funny enough, Give Up The Ghost keeps getting more and more traction, specifically, "Losing You". I received a note the other day from someone telling me how it is helping her through a difficult time and how appreciative she is of the song. Is that amazing, or what?! Knowing that my music can do for someone what music has always done for me is just extremely satisfying. Especially something like that song which is from an album so personal, so honest, and so difficult yet cathartic for me to face..... that note was just a really great highlight to my week.
I'm tired, but tired of feeling tired. Tired of saying "I'm tired". Tired of looking so tired, and tired of exhaustion being part of my story. Tired, be damned! At least, that's how I feel in the daylight. By 9pm, I'm reminded what tired really is and it is so hard for me to focus any longer or get any more accomplished. This used to be my prime time of creativity and productivity. My nighttimes have gone the way of the dodo.
It has been a very rare and fleeting moment in which I felt sentimental about New Jersey, and what I might miss about being here. If there was ever a way to obliterate those thoughts completely, this winter has done it. I like the option of going to NYC and I like being near my in-laws. Aside from that there is not one thing I can foresee missing about this place. Its a perfectly fine place, but it is so very not for me. (That is the absolute politest way I can think of to say that).
Weird things and big things have been happening all around me. Wanting desperately to navigate this life from a steady, sturdy place. I'm doing alright, but the anxiety? Well........